We're just trying to be realistic

The other night- after a Sunday spent looking at houses- M and I put together a list of what we would want in a house.  Of course I had to share.

Priorities:

3+ bedrooms (2+ upstairs)

2+ bathrooms (1+ upstairs)

full basement with separate entry for rentable apartment

has NOT been fully renovated or flipped

back yard (or yard generally) large enough for garden

good bones (not more than 100k in renovations needed)

brick or wood exterior (not asbestos or vinyl siding)

front or back porch (covered)

Pluses:

1+ Fireplace

detached garage/workshop

basement with bath & kitchen included already

detached single family home

original wood floors in good condition

second story porch

central air

large master bath

Jacuzzi out back

Wine cellar

Sauna

55 bedrooms

indoor water slide

horse

original maid and butler

dungeon

trap doors

library

money bin

treasure (preferably enough to cover the rest of the cost of the house)

chapel and chaplain

brewery

distillery

smokehouse

tobacco curing shack

teepee

Let's be honest here: the original maid and butler are non-negotiable, people.  And I'm hoping that I'll finally, FINALLY, get to actually keep a horse at my house, like I used to beg my parents for.