Estate Sale

I imagine that when he approached the Teacher that day, he already had a pretty good idea of the pat on the back he was going to get.

Pushing through the people, with their babies, their diseases, their needs, the young man stepped up to the Teacher himself.

The question was meant to be a straight forward one.  Tell me what I need to do and- if I'm not already doing it- I'll get on it.  I'll check off that box.  I'll do what I need to do to get the results I want.  

But the Teacher knew the man's heart.  He knew what was at the man's core, and that- despite his actions of purity- his heart was far from where it needed to be.  "There is still one thing lacking.  Sell all that you own and distribute the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then, come follow Me."  But when he heard this, he became sad; for he was very rich. ** _______________________________________

I can't help but think that many of us- like the young man- walk away from the true heart of the Gospel, sad that we will have to make what we believe to be such a great sacrifice.  Whether it be our wealth, our power, our comfort or our family, we are saddened by the idea that we can't keep those things that we hold so close.  But Teacher, isn't my outward obedience enough?  I've loved you.  I've been good since I was just a young kid.  I've kept your law.  I've loved people.  Isn't that what getting eternal life is about?  Do you really need this extra sacrifice? 

I don't know what it is that fills your heart, sucks your time and steals your thoughts.  Maybe it's the deep yearning to be someone, to have a voice and to earn the approval of men.  Maybe it is the rampant materialism, so pervasive in our culture- from over sized houses to walk-in closets, to $700 pairs of shoes.  Maybe it is your deep desire to just be comfortable, to have enough, to not be in want.  For me, it is all these things and probably more.

But like the rich young ruler, the Teacher is calling His children, His church, to something more.  To a life dedicated not to the decorating of a house or the seat in the board room, but to a life lived for Him and poured out for others.  A life that gives sacrificially to others and follows Him to those places where others are hurting, abused and dying, where there are deep physical, spiritual and emotional needs.  

Maybe you'll be one of the very few who can truly have these other things- the power, the money, the comfort- and still have the Teacher seated at the center of your heart.  (What is impossible for mortals is possible for God.)  But I suspect that more often than not, it is these things that cloud our heart, blur our vision and keep us from truly surrendering ourselves to the transformative power and work of the Gospel.  It is these things that, while not keeping us from church, or fellowship or even prayer or reading, keep us from the heart of the Teacher's message.  We are so deeply, deeply afraid that He will call us to more, to sacrifice these things that in so many ways define us.  And we are so completely afraid of this sacrifice.  
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More than anything else in my life, I want to have the Teacher seated at the center of my heart.  More than children, more than a home, even more than my husband, I want to take the Teacher at His word and follow Him. Don't get me wrong.  I hope and pray that M gets a wonderful job to use his God-given passions and knowledge, that we're able to own a home one day and that we have a house full of children.  I hope that we can use our home as a place of ministry, providing a safe haven for the orphaned and widowed, and feeding the hungry.  If this isn't what the Lord gives us, I know that as long as we are following His leading, we will be ok.  And yet in some ways, this scares me more than I can even imagine- sacrificing so fully, giving up my own agenda and own way.

But even just in this year of living so differently than we ever have before- I've learned that this "sacrifice" really is no sacrifice at all.  Yes, loving Him costs me everything...and yet costs me nothing.  Sometimes we are so afraid of the sacrifice that we can't even imagine how we might go on living without it.  But when He is in His right place, I am my best self and my Father is most glorified in me.  And whatever sacrifice there might be quickly transforms into great joy.  That is the Gospel.


**(Luke 18:22-23)