March has been quite a hard month. While there was a wonderful week of vacation with my family in California and a couple of days of fun for me with friends in DC, the reality of the end of M's time here at the University of Chicago is sneaking up rather quickly.
Most of our days have been spent applying to jobs, networking as much as possible and lamenting the current federal budget problems and general economic climate. Now is not the easiest time to be looking for a job, to say the least.
And so we have prayed. And cried, and prayed and cried. We are asking God to continue His faithfulness to us, and to remind us of His goodness. And yet even in this, we must know that His goodness does not mean that M will get a job that he loves or that he'll get a job at all. Of course that is what we hope for, but God's goodness to us does not always manifest itself in the way that we would like it. I know too many people who love the Lord with all their heart and yet have no job, no home or no family. God's goodness is that we are allowed to be worshipers of Him, to know Him more and to be in His presence, not that we have a nice job and a big family.
Last week, I hit a wall. Exhausted, overwhelmed and feeling discouraged, I asked friends to pray for me, even as I felt that I could no longer pray for myself. And in that time, God reminded me of this passage:
Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed; and whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses' hand grew weary; so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side; so his hands were steady until the sun set. And Joshua defeated Amalek and his people with the sword. (Exodus 17:11-13)
I am so thankful to those who have been holding up our arms, even as we are exhausted and feel like we can't do this anymore. I'm so thankful for a stone to sit on and the arms that have taken the weight off my arms. And I am so thankful that as the sun sets, we are assured victory, even as we do not know exactly what that victory will look like.
Monday, March 28, 2011
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L, you have said it all. You need no additional explanation of how, as we sojourn in this fallen world, God is faithful - even when it is not evident from our circumstances. Count us in. Your Wetumpka connection is standing in the gap. It is our privilege and our duty to help hold up your arms. Be strengthened today.
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