Not for the Faint of Heart

Or stomach, for that matter.

At the corner of Elizabeth and Lake Streets in the West Loop, you'll find Peoria Packing, my newest love. We originally found it back in February when we were showing a friend around the city. And after that one trip...I was hooked.

If you know anything about Chicago- or Upton Sinclair- you know of the city's (in)famous love of, well, meat (and casseroles. It is the midwest, after all). Lake Street is Exhibit A. Meat packing store after meat packing store, which really means giant walk-in refrigerators with literally EVERY PART OF THE ANIMAL that you can imagine. Need a pig head? It's here (you can thank me for not posting that picture). How about an ox tail? Yep. And the most ridiculously large rack of ribs? It's here, too.

And here's the best part. The meat is CHEAP. For instance, I got a huge pot roast, 3 full chicken breasts (which is equal to six separate chicken breasts-that I broke down myself, thank you very much) four thick-cut pork chops and a bunch of ground beef, all for $32. THIRTY TWO DOLLARS. Now, I'm thinkin' this meat ain't organic (which I really would prefer if, say, we had more disposable income) but for what you get, it can't be beat.

So I spent my Saturday afternoon doing a little meat packing of myself, breaking down my chickens, packing and freezing the meat and then making half of the huge pot roast, just as so many midwesterners have done before me. Now I just need to find a good ground beef casserole recipe...

They've Probably Got Something for That

Last night, M and I ventured once again to Chinatown. And let me here pause and rail against the Chinatown of DC. DC, you know I love ya. But really? Writing "Starbucks" in Chinese does NOT a Chinatown make. Or Urban Outfitters for that matter. And certainly not Ann Taylor Loft.

The thing about Chicago's Chinatown that is so thrilling is that one, it actually appears (to someone who has never been to China) to be somewhat authentic to at least a small piece of daily life in China (minus the millions of people, but, whatev.) Secondly, nearly every other store is some sort of weird "pickled or dried stuff in a jar" sort of store. Doesn't that just make it feel more real? I submit that it does.

And so, of course, we went into a few of the stores. And we saw items such as this.

Those are dragon balls. Giggle, giggle.

Sorry, I can't help it.

But. Wouldn't you think they would be...

Ahem.

Anyway.

These, according to the looked-slightly-out-of-it-but-probably-a-very-nice woman, are good for weight loss. Thanks for pointing that out, ma'am. In fact, she said, this tea squeezes the fat out of you. Well in that case, please, give me a couple pounds of this magical treatment. Only problem...one ounce of this stuff costs $7.50. For those of you who aren't math majors, that's a whopping $120 per pound. Um....one ounce will suffice, thanks. I'll ration.

The crazy part is that these beautiful balls (sorry, I'm still giggling) aren't even close to the weirdest or most expensive things in the store. There were, of course, dried shark fins that cost over $400 a pound. And according to the internets, shark fins do all sorts of things from lowering your cholesterol, to making you happier to giving you mercury poisoning. Fun stuff! And there was ginseng everywhere, which is good for, well, I'll let Wikipedia tell you (and why did they have so much of this stuff?!). Or maybe you would be interested in the dried oysters or scallops, and their, shall we say, pungent aroma. Then there were the HUGE mushrooms- I'm not kidding when I say they were at least a foot in diameter- or the whale flipper in the glass case. God only knows what else was in that crazy store. (Because many of the signs were only written in Chinese, and I'm assuming God knows Chinese, so He would know.)

But my favorite? Oh my favorite. By far. And crap, why didn't I get a picture of it?

Sea cucumber.

I will spare you the details of what this lovely little thing looks like (because seriously, it's worse than the Washington Monument). But, like ginseng, these bad boys were everywhere. And coming in at about $50 a pound for the small, dried ones, quite a good buy. Apparently sea cucumbers are not only a delicacy in some Mediterranean countries, it's also good for lowering high blood pressure, treating disorders of the kidneys and reproductive organs, reducing arthritis pain, possibly HIV therapy and a whole host of other things. It's a miracle underwater plant/animal thingy, people! A miracle drug! Patent it now!

So whatever ails you, it's good to know that Chinatown is the place to go. (That should be their public television ad!) Because, let's face it, our medicine might as well be made in China.

Everything else already is.

Things I Wish it was Still Appropriate for Me to Do

Sidenote: I think I've been into lists lately.

Confession: I'm now 28. And at 28, some things just aren't appropriate to do anymore. I know, I know, "fight the man," "do what you want to do" blah blah blah. But let's be honest. If you saw me doing some of these things, you would totally judge me. Totally.

Here's a partial list I've come up with of things that I would love to still do but feel like I probably shouldn't because I'm supposed to be an adult now.

1. Take naps in the middle of the day.

2. Blow huge bubbles with my bubble gum (which, OF COURSE would be the really fruity, sugary type)

3. Watch cartoons on Saturday morning (though I HAVE watched them while working out)

4. Skip.

5. Wear adorably cute, frilly dresses. (Hey mom, maybe you could smock another one for me!)

6. Eat gummy fruit snacks with my lunch every day.

7. Stick my tongue out at people when I'm mad at them.

8. Throw myself on the floor when I'm mad (I'm not sure I ever did this, but it appeals to an emotional person such as myself)

9. Wear one of those really cute blow-up inner-tubes that has an animal's head on it. When I go to the pool and the beach. Not just around.

10. G0 to the local pool and go down the water slide.

11. Play in the sprinklers.

12. Have an Easter egg hunt.

13. Finger paint.

14. Sleep with my Tigger stuffed animal.

15. Sell lemonade and rice krispy treats and cookies outside for a profit. Without a license.

The good news is that, one day when we have children, many of these things will suddenly become appropriate for me to do again (maybe not #8, but I'll let you know). I think I will SO be that mom who is more into playing in the sprinklers than her children are.

And I'm ok with that.

Really Weird Things about Me

The blog has been a little serious lately, so I thought I would lighten it up by letting you know just a little bit more about me or, rather, some of the weird things about me. It starts with this:

- I was once run over by a float in a parade.

- From the age of about 12-18, I turned my feet sideways while going down the stairs because of a book I read.

- I cry every time I see a baby being born (so far this has only been on TV. Including The Office.)

- I once broke my thumb dancing to my Disney record on my Fisher Price record player.

- I used to hate pickles and bell peppers but now love them.

- I have taken language classes in Ancient Greek, French, Spanish and Arabic.

- I used to play "Bar" when I was little.

- I love- and I mean LOVE- lima beans.

- I also used to play "Orphanage" when I was little.

And there you have it.

Of course, M just said, "You never even told me half that stuff." Oops. That's why they say you're always learning something new about your spouse, I guess. And somehow the fact that I played bar as a child hasn't really figured into our relationship until now.

Go figure.