Why you should never search for a job using the word “international” or “research” (in Chicago)

Unless, of course, you have a PhD in the medical field or want to be a CPA and work in international tax (I can’t even do American taxes). Because frankly, reader, these are the ONLY jobs that come up when you use these words on a job search website.

Because I know you are all extremely interested in the continuing saga that is my occupational future, I’ll give you an update: there is no update. Well, I take that back. I have officially signed a short-term contract to do some consulting work. And heck, who knows, maybe more will follow! Woohoo! Let’s all stand up and do a little dance in celebration!

Now that that’s over…the cold, hard fact is that otherwise, the well is dry. I mean BONE DRY. Apparently the list of bleeding-heart international organizations for which I am qualified in Chicago is equal to about three. And none of them are hiring (what, is there a bad economy or something?) So, being the innovative, 20-something that I am, I have looked to reinvent myself, ie, capitalize on the “less the focus of my job but also interesting work I’ve done and possibly would make me marketable” things that I’ve done here in Washington. I’ve looked at PR jobs (had a couple good interviews). I’ve looked at event planning jobs. I’ve looked at fundraising jobs. I’ve even looked at being a secretary. I’ve tried to find a job that I would actually like doing (working with kids is one of the top things on that list) but even that’s not working. And even when I do get an interview and it goes swimmingly well, I hear nothing back.

Which brings me to my next point. In the book of second Corinthians, Paul says something about a thorn in his flesh, a messenger of Satan’s to torment him. I’ve figure out what Paul’s talking about (and am therefore putting to rest the debate over what the thorn was that has been raging for centuries). Paul was hiring for a position (probably scribe or assistant). He interviewed a couple people, but was slow to follow up. One of the interviewees, who was anxiously awaiting a response since he/she thought his/her interview went fantastically well, sent a standard “thank you for the interview” email (or whatever the first century equivalent was. Papyrus?) And then, a week later, another email when he/she had not heard anything. And one more a few days later. Understandably, this person has now become a thorn in Paul’s flesh, and he/she is probably tormenting him. But…why can’t he just respond?? It wouldn’t be so annoying if he would just reject him/her when he/she asks!! The “thorn” has feelings and expectations too! Note: Obviously this is in no way related to my own experience. Obviously.

So I labor on at the task of finding labor, while at the same time trying at least a little to not be a thorn in anybody’s side (with mixed results, I’ll admit). Apparently finding and getting a job isn’t as easy as I remember the first few times I’ve done it, and M was right that it might take a while. Interesting. M being right…I’m seeing a pattern here.

All that to say, at this point, I would take almost any job if they paid me enough (and would consider becoming an indentured servant if they gave us health benefits, too). If you know anyone whose hiring in the greater Chicago area, have their people call my people. I just don’t do taxes.