Thursday, February 11, 2010

The Rules

Because we live in an orderly society, their are certain rules that we all must abide by (unless you think you're above them--I'm lookin' at you Maryland drivers--in which case you ignore them and totally annoy the crap out of everyone else). These rules are a little different depending on where you live...for instance, did you know that in the country of England they DRIVE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD??! I know! Oh! Oh! And in the Czech Republic PEOPLE YIELD TO BICYCLES. Mind-blowing!

Apparently, like these other exotic locales, Chicago has its own set of rules. Here are five that I've observed so far. Let's call them "Chicago Winter Rules."

1. If you park in front of my sidewalk, it's totally ok for me to shovel my sidewalk ONTO your car.

2. Lawn chairs and orange cones really do save a parking spot. And if you take it, your tires will be slashed. (I wish I were kidding. I'm not.)

3. It is not my problem if a huge piece of snow flies off the top of my car and smacks your windshield, making it impossible for you to see for a terrorizing 30 seconds.

4. It's so much more fun to yell instructions from across the street at the "foreigners" (ie not from Chicago) who don't particularly know how to get their car out of the 2 foot wall of snow (see rule number 1) that is around their car. You wouldn't want to actually cross the street and HELP.

5. It's really fun to scare these same "foreigners" by telling them that it will still be snowing in mid-June. And the reason it's fun is because it's true.


Oh, Chicago...


2 comments:

  1. "and the reason it's fun is because it's true." Priceless!

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  2. Pittsburgh also has the lawn chair/traffic cone system of saving a parking spot! It's part of Pittsburgh's classiness.

    There's also the "Pittsburgh left", i.e. when the light turns from red to green, I (first driver wanting to turn left) does not have to yield to oncoming traffic, but rather can turn in front of you.

    I was baffled when I first heard of both these "rules"....and still am.

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